I never knew...

I never knew
           Happiness
                   could disappear
at the blink of an eye
like a firefly's light
in the brilliant night sky
I never knew...I never knew...


I never knew
           Contentment
                      was hard to find
at arms link 
like a lost lover's wink
I never knew...I never knew...


I never knew 
           Love
                wasn't falling into 
or onto ones knees
begging me please 
like chasing the wind 
that doesn't ask you to follow its breeze
I never knew...I never knew...


I never knew
           Life
               wasn't as easy
as the flash of a smile 
after the hundredth mile
of the race towards desire. 
I never knew...I never knew...
           I never...
                     I...I...I...


I kept trying, desiring, and believing in more...
More of what? 
            Myself...
                My life...
                    My friends...
                        My strife...
                    My family...
               My world...
         My dreams... 

But why? 
      To watch it all...
            c
              r
                u
                  m
                     b
                       l
                        e
                      and
                            t
                          u
                       m
                    b
                  l
               e
while I'm sitting here, 
                         reaching out....out...out...for more...
        reaching on for life. 

Life...
     what's that? 
               Class 10-2
               Meetings at lunch and dinner and right before bed
               Homework
                       it's midnight and sleep's calling my name...
               Homework
                       it's three in the morning and I'm driftin'...
                       My eyes are ready to call it a night in...
               Work
                       it's five...
                       I have read....I have reread...I have read...I have 
                       reread...I have read again...I have rea...I have r....
                       I ave...
                       I have reread this sentence five times o'er and 
                       still have no clue its saying..
                       My bed is ready for me to come on home 
                       and turn out the light...
               Head hits pillow
                       it's six...
                       I need to wake up in three hours. I need to get some rest. 
                       I need to shut my eyes and let the dreams consume me. 
                       I need to stop thinking, but there's just 
                       no time to process...
              Beep...Beep...Beep...
                       it's 9:35
                       The alarm's been sounding for half an hour...
                       It's time to start this mundane disaster...
                       Again...
              But I just want to... 
                        B...R...E...A...T...H...E...
                             Simply exhale 
                                        and know someone will pick up the pieces 
                                                    so I can trudge through tomorrow...