Numb

I've gone numb, 
I've lost all feeling...
of loving, believing, exploring, and all other things with an -ing ending
that keep my heart beating and me breathing. 

I've gone numb
and lost all my senses: 
of seeing and believing, 
of hearing and understanding, 
of smelling the fragrant and pungent, 
of tasting the sweet and the bitter, 
of touching the things I find dear. 


I've gone numb
and lost all grasp I had on the "important" things. 
My brain no longer yearns for knowledge, 
My eyes no longer see the light at the end of the tunnel, 
My ears no longer hear the cries of the weary, 
My mouth no longer speaks words of kindness or truth, 
But instead lusts for the sweet seduction 
of that which will soon disappear. 
My hands no longer reach out in support and compassion, 
but instead draw in folded across my chest as I try to close myself off
and retreat from the world. 


I've gone numb,
and no one has noticed. 
I fall to the floor and curl up in a ball, 
waiting for someone to reach out and help me regain my sense of feeling. 
But I collapse yet again as I tremble at the thought of 
caving in to vulnerability. 


I've gone numb
from the frostbite induced by this cold, cold world we live in. 
I can't let myself become exposed to vulnerability 
in fear that my warm feeling heart will go numb as well
in this cold world where the people don't feel
despite sheer exposure to the vast array of elements.