When all gets quiet...

When all gets quiet,
          I promise I'm not ignoring you.
When all gets quiet,
          I'm amazed that I'm sitting with you.
When all gets quiet,
          I'm so grateful I have someone who sees
          the best in me, someone who sees all the
          potential that I've lost sight of.
When all gets quiet,
          I wanna get mad at you for opening me up
          and making me comfortable in all my vulnerabilities.
When all gets quiet,
          I'm grateful for your openness with me
          and feel guilty for not having that same comfort and confidence in you.
When all gets quiet,
          I'm intimidated by your brilliance
          leaving me speechless.
When all gets quiet,
          I worry that my response won't suffice
          and that I'm not stimulating growth and development in you
          like you always manage to do for me.
When all gets quiet,
          I get nervous about what just rolled off my tongue.
When all gets quiet,
          I am thankful for a fresh perspective
          that breaks down the conservative walls of my surroundings.
When all gets quiet,
          I find peace that I am somewhat comfortable
          despite my insecurities around you. 
When all gets quiet,
          I'm so happy that I am finally myself and feel all at home.
When all gets quiet,
          I sometimes ponder our need for touch and the lack thereof.
When all gets quiet,
          I wonder if I killed the authenticity of this friendship
          with a single letter sent a year ago.
When all gets quiet,
          I feel your gaze trying to dissect my thoughts
          and tap the trigger that shut me down and
          closed me off yet again.
When all gets quiet,
          I long for you to hold me after opening me up to
          all my vulnerabilities.
When all gets quiet,
          I worry that you are trying to protect my innocence
          and holding back the core of who you are.
When all gets quiet,
          I wonder what you look like and how life is different
          in a world that is so far removed from our common ground.
When all gets quiet,
          I wonder if I've bored you and have wasted your time.
When all gets quiet,
          I'm taking time to cherish the precious moments we share
          while you're still beside me.
When all gets quiet,
          I'm dreading the thought of leaving you and saying goodbye.
When all gets quiet,
          I wonder what you must think of me and
          what will go down in today's journal entry.
When all gets quiet,
          I don't want you to leave my side,
          empty handed or broken hearted.